Thursday, March 14, 2013

Two Years Ezra and The Lion King


The orange and blue sky provided the background and I could hear the buzz of the street in my ear. I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts. I was ready to speak to my son.

Candace pressed record and the lens focused in on me. I envisioned what he would look like, thought of what I would say to him and how he would react to my voice. I directed my words to him and began letting out my hopes and dreams, the Santa Monica wind carrying my every word into the universe.


He has yet to hear these recorded words and if I do let him watch the video, now on his 2nd birthday, he probably won’t understand. But it felt like the first time I truly spoke to him. Candace let out her heart too. A glowing smile on her face. A special giddy tone to her voice. We stood near the famous pier with the horizon to our backs, transforming into the colorful mess one of those Big Stick Popsicles leaves behind. We knew our life would never be the same.
We patiently ate dinner at Wockano’s that night – March 13th, 2011 – acting like a couple of cool cucumbers, when in fact all we wanted to do was get to the hospital. We were so nervous about the life that awaited us. I can honestly say those last few hours before I officially became a father were the most clear my head has ever been. That final day before my son’s birth and my re-birth is one of the happiest I could remember.




Little did I know, Ezra Rey Sanchez, the cute boy everybody loves, would eventually lose his mind. (Cue dramatic piano music here! Ton, Ton, Ton!) Yes, the little belly ball has gone Coo-Coo for Coco Puffs. And in the process, so have I.

Parenting 101 is no joke and the toughest test I've taken is managing a human being you love to the bone after he shuns you, disregards you and flat out leaves you feeling helpless.
Ezra has an imagination and a mental capacity that is beyond my understanding. I love it to death until it makes me feel like death.  Let’s just say he’s too smart for his own good.

It started with the word No.
“Ezra, give me that, it’s not a toy!”
“No!”
“Ezra, come over here.”
“Nooo…”

Honestly, the first time this happened, I smirked.  Who does this kid think he is? And even worse, why do I think it’s cute and funny? After perfecting the phonetic sound – Noooo – he started throwing it around, letting it roll off the tongue all crisp and articulate. Needless to say, this wasn’t amusing anymore. In fact, after one such outburst, I was ready to go Mufasa on him: “Zazu, take Nala home. I’ve got to teach my son a lesson!”
Gulp!
The Lion King has become such a parallel in my life these days. Yes, the 1994 Disney movie about a lion cub and his pops. The movie has resonated with me from the first time I saw it. The powerful opening sequence, the lessons throughout about life’s decisions, the strong relationship between Simba and his father in the present and afterlife, all make it such a wonderful flick and Ezra loves it too. He sings along to the Circle of Life, Can’t Wait to be King and of course, Hakuna Matata.
Beyond that, Ezra recognizes his ABC’s and can count to 20. Name a nursery rhyme in Spanish or English, he can probably belt it out. The dude is a performer. He’s also extremely independent. He doesn't want help with anything and let’s you know he’s not happy if you try. I wonder where he gets that from?
Everyone always says Ezra looks like Candace. If they only knew that it doesn't stop at physical appearance. He embodies his mother’s spirit. The most independent, driven, determined person I know is my wife and I’m so grateful those qualities have transferred over to our son. The stubbornness, hard headed, short-tempered stuff, he gets from daddy – not so grateful.
Even with all the craziness Ezra brings to our lives I wouldn't have it any other way. The responsibility is daunting and at the same time easily manageable as if parents were given a gene that is activated to handle the madness. The struggle with this balance is visible and some how I know Ezra understands by the way he looks at me. I need to set an example and be his guide. In other words, whenever Ezra loses his mind, I need to find mine.
I think back to that sky in Santa Monica and it reminds me of when Mufasa tells Simba to look up at the stars.
“The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars,” Mufasa says, “...So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I.”
Happy Birthday, son. I’ll always be here for you. Always.